September 11, 2016
As I think about what happened on this day 15 years ago, I still remember what it was like waking up to the news instead of music that morning. It was a shock to learn that a terrorist attack had happened in our country.
And then I think about our situation today. With the upcoming election I've been thinking a lot about how this country has come to a point where the people running for President from the 2 major political parties, are people that I wouldn't want in my house, let alone running our country.
Well, here's my 2 cents.
This country is in this particular situation because the majority of people in the US have turned away from God. Many prophets of old have said that, "this land is choice above all others, and they who inhabit it will worship God, or be swept off." God has blessed this land, the United States of America, with a Constitution written by men that were inspired by God. The architects of this nation were inspired by God to take the actions they took in order for us to have the freedoms we enjoy today. They gave their all. In many cases, they ended up poor and homeless. It is important that we remember our past so that we don't repeat the mistakes of the past.
And what do we do? We put a dishonest businessman and a dishonest politician on the ballot to run for our nation's highest office. Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin would roll over in their graves if they saw us today. Putting these 2 people on the ballot is a disgrace to everything this nation was founded on. And yet, if anyone says they don't support either of these 2 people, they are scorned by their peers. Freedom of Speech was written into our Constitution so that EVERYONE would have the right to express their opinions, without the fear that they would be considered outcasts if they did.
We had a good man run for President 8 years ago, but the nation turned up their noses at him because he was, and is, a religious man. Instead, they voted in a President who has done more than any previous President in reducing the freedoms we enjoy because of the Constitution. Our current President is a charlatan and a pretender. And now, 8 years later, the people of this nation are wondering, "How did we get here?"
I'm hoping and praying that when November comes around, I will be able to cast my vote for someone I consider worthy of the office. I usually vote Republican, but this November I will cast my vote for the person I feel will heal this nation. The person I vote for will have to be a religious person. They will have honor and be honest in their dealings with their fellowmen. They will have respect for everyone, including their opponents.
Will the person I vote for be elected President? Probably not. HOWEVER, I will have done my duty and cast my vote for the person I thought deserved to lead our nation. That's all I can ask anyone else to do as well.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Rush Hour Traffic
I carpool with my brother-in-law and when it's my turn to drive, there are things I do that I know drive him crazy. For instance, when I'm in heavy traffic, I will intentionally leave a large opening between my car and the car in front of me. Why, you ask?
Well, here's my reasoning: I'm NOT an hourly worker and do not have to punch a time clock every time I get to work. Therefore, I'm not going to get in trouble if I don't arrive at my office at a specific time every morning. However, I am well aware that there are drivers in rush hour traffic that ARE UNDER THE GUN and are expected to be at work at a specific time.
For those drivers that have to be at work at a specific time, THAT'S why I leave a huge gap between my car and the car in front of me.
I also know there are people that are in a hurry for one reason or another. I make it a point to NOT be in a hurry for anything, if I can help it. If I leave a huge gap between my car and the car in front of me, other drivers have room to maneuver in traffic without feeling a lot of stress.
That huge gap also gives me a chance to slow down when I see traffic is STOPPED DEAD ahead of me. I don't see any point in speeding up just to slow down really fast! It doesn't help my gas mileage when I drive that way. It doesn't help my stress level either when I drive that way. So, to those drivers behind me who think I'm slowing down just to tick them off, I say, GROW UP!!! LOOK DOWN THE ROAD and you'll see WHY I'M SLOWING DOWN!!
Don't misunderstand me here, I like to drive at the speed limit or 5-10 mph over, HOWEVER, I don't like to crowd the vehicles in front of me, just to try and get them to speed up. That increases the stress I feel as I drive and I'm sure it ups the stress of the driver that I would be crowding.
I've also found that when more than one driver leaves space between their vehicle and the vehicle in front of them, that TRAFFIC keeps MOVING at or above the speed limit.
Some drivers may not understand this simple fact: If they are traveling faster than the traffic in front of them, they WILL HAVE TO HIT THEIR BRAKES. When ONE DRIVER hits their brakes in heavy traffic, AT LEAST 3-5 vehicles behind them will have to hit their brakes. This is precisely how traffic jams happen!!!! In less than 5 minutes, ALL TRAFFIC will be crawling at 5-10 mph or LESS. Myth Busters even did a show to prove or disprove that notion and that is precisely what they found. NOBODY LIKES THAT!
So, here's what I have to say to all the drivers out there, and that includes my kids: Wake up earlier so you don't have to be in a hurry. It's amazing what happens to your mental well being when you aren't in a hurry. If you're having trouble waking up in the morning, try going to bed earlier in the evening. Once you find what works for you, stick with that sleep schedule EVERY DAY. I had to work nights when I first started my current job. My Sweetheart made sure that I stayed on that sleep schedule every day, including the weekends. Even when we went on vacation, my wife made sure I kept my sleep schedule. I never felt any stress on my drive to or from work, mainly because I was traveling to and from work against the flow of normal traffic. However, I also never felt any stress at home when I worked nights. As a matter of fact, I think I saw my family more when I worked nights, because I would get home just as they were getting up and getting ready for school/work. And then I would sleep while they were at school/work and wake up about the time they got home. Then, when they went to bed, I left for work.
Do yourself a favor and, as they say in London, MIND THE GAP! You have control over how much space you leave between your vehicle and the vehicle in front of you.
Well, here's my reasoning: I'm NOT an hourly worker and do not have to punch a time clock every time I get to work. Therefore, I'm not going to get in trouble if I don't arrive at my office at a specific time every morning. However, I am well aware that there are drivers in rush hour traffic that ARE UNDER THE GUN and are expected to be at work at a specific time.
For those drivers that have to be at work at a specific time, THAT'S why I leave a huge gap between my car and the car in front of me.
I also know there are people that are in a hurry for one reason or another. I make it a point to NOT be in a hurry for anything, if I can help it. If I leave a huge gap between my car and the car in front of me, other drivers have room to maneuver in traffic without feeling a lot of stress.
That huge gap also gives me a chance to slow down when I see traffic is STOPPED DEAD ahead of me. I don't see any point in speeding up just to slow down really fast! It doesn't help my gas mileage when I drive that way. It doesn't help my stress level either when I drive that way. So, to those drivers behind me who think I'm slowing down just to tick them off, I say, GROW UP!!! LOOK DOWN THE ROAD and you'll see WHY I'M SLOWING DOWN!!
Don't misunderstand me here, I like to drive at the speed limit or 5-10 mph over, HOWEVER, I don't like to crowd the vehicles in front of me, just to try and get them to speed up. That increases the stress I feel as I drive and I'm sure it ups the stress of the driver that I would be crowding.
I've also found that when more than one driver leaves space between their vehicle and the vehicle in front of them, that TRAFFIC keeps MOVING at or above the speed limit.
Some drivers may not understand this simple fact: If they are traveling faster than the traffic in front of them, they WILL HAVE TO HIT THEIR BRAKES. When ONE DRIVER hits their brakes in heavy traffic, AT LEAST 3-5 vehicles behind them will have to hit their brakes. This is precisely how traffic jams happen!!!! In less than 5 minutes, ALL TRAFFIC will be crawling at 5-10 mph or LESS. Myth Busters even did a show to prove or disprove that notion and that is precisely what they found. NOBODY LIKES THAT!
So, here's what I have to say to all the drivers out there, and that includes my kids: Wake up earlier so you don't have to be in a hurry. It's amazing what happens to your mental well being when you aren't in a hurry. If you're having trouble waking up in the morning, try going to bed earlier in the evening. Once you find what works for you, stick with that sleep schedule EVERY DAY. I had to work nights when I first started my current job. My Sweetheart made sure that I stayed on that sleep schedule every day, including the weekends. Even when we went on vacation, my wife made sure I kept my sleep schedule. I never felt any stress on my drive to or from work, mainly because I was traveling to and from work against the flow of normal traffic. However, I also never felt any stress at home when I worked nights. As a matter of fact, I think I saw my family more when I worked nights, because I would get home just as they were getting up and getting ready for school/work. And then I would sleep while they were at school/work and wake up about the time they got home. Then, when they went to bed, I left for work.
Do yourself a favor and, as they say in London, MIND THE GAP! You have control over how much space you leave between your vehicle and the vehicle in front of you.
Thursday, June 4, 2015
The end of Childhood
On the eve of the night before my youngest daughter graduates from high school, I'm reflecting on how much time has slipped past. It seems like yesterday when my oldest child was off to his first day of kindergarten. Now it's time to send my youngest daughter off to college and she can't wait to go.
There are a few words of wisdom that I'd like to pass on. First, don't be afraid to get your heart broken. It just means that you aren't afraid of falling in love. I've been married for over 32 years and I've never regretted taking what I thought was a chance and asking my sweetheart if she'd marry me. If you asked her she would tell you there was no risk of what her answer would be.
Second, find out what you love to do and find a way to make a living doing that. You will never get tired of doing something you love to do. And it will never feel like you're working.
Third, don't be in a hurry to spend everything you earn. I regret not saving more when I was younger. Now, I'm playing catch up trying to make sure that if there ever comes a day when I can't work, that I will have enough money to live on. If something is on sale one day, you can be sure it will be on sale at another time. Businesses want you to spend your money on their products or services. Do yourself a huge favor and make and follow a budget. Budget for things you want to buy and save the money to buy it. Whenever you earn some money, pay your tithing first and put something in savings second. It doesn't matter how much you save, it just matters that you get in the habit of saving. You never know what might happen and its nice to know you have something in reserve should you need it.
Fourth, when you become a parent spend as much time as you can with your kids. You will never regret it. I'll never forget the time I came home from an extended business trip and my youngest daughter, at the time, didn't recognize me when I got in the car. She was pulling away from me so I sat in the seat behind her. As we drove home, I was telling everyone about the trip and once she heard my voice she couldn't turn far enough to see me in her car seat. I called home every night while I was gone and she did recognize my voice from all those phone calls. Tell your wife and your kids how much you love them frequently. They can't hear it enough.
I'm proud of everything that my kids and wife have accomplished in their lives so far. I have been blessed to have a family. I wouldn't be who I am without you all.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
10 Rules for Dating My Daughter :-)
I read about 10 things to do with your daughter in my daily email subscription from All Pro Dads.com and it triggered a memory of the 10 Rules for Dating My Daughter. So, I Googled it and found this, 10 Rules for Dating my Daughter, enjoy.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Working Moms
This year is a Presidential election year. The rhetoric is flying in both directions with both parties pointing fingers and placing blame.
One thing that caught my attention was the comment by Hillary Rosen directed at Ann Romney made during an interview on CNN.com. She made the statement that "Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life". I take issue with that statement because being a full-time mom is what I would classify as "real work."
Taking care of kids is a lot of work! Quite a few years ago, my wife and I both worked. We had one 2 year old at the time and a new born daughter. We found we were spending all of one our salaries, or the majority of it, on daycare for both kids. After looking at our finances, my wife decided to quit her job and stay home with the kids. It was NOT and easy decision for either of us, as she was the major breadwinner of our family at the time. I took the opportunity to stay home with them for a couple weeks while my wife was finishing up her 2 weeks notice at her job. I have never worked so hard in my life!
My wife came home each day of those 2 weeks to a house that looked like it had been hit by a hurricane. I was constantly cleaning, feeding, changing diapers, etc. all day every day for those 2 weeks. My sweetheart would come in the house and say, "What happened here?!?" I would give her a blow by blow description of what had happened and we would move on from there.
A few years later, my wife went to a Women's Conference for a week and I stayed home with the kids. We were up to 3 kids by then. You can imagine what the house looked like. It looked like it was "lived in", is the best way I can describe it. When my wife got back from the conference, I told her that I didn't know how she got everything done during the day, that needed to be done. I asked her how she did it and she just laughed. I am a firm believer that ALL DADS should send their wife out of town for a week and stay home with the kids, if for no other reason, than to gain a better appreciation for everything their wife does.
I have the utmost respect for women who CHOOSE to stay at home. I realize that it does put a financial strain on the family when the family has to adjust their lifestyle to only having one income provider. It may mean selling their nice house and buying something within their budget. It may mean that the existing cars may have to be sold and used cars bought in their place. It is a sacrifice, however, it is a sacrifice well worth making for the sake of our children.
Our children were taught, by their mother, important values that they still use today. Those values include, but are not limited to, Love, Humility, Respect, Responsibility, Kindness, Generosity, Trust, Integrity, Accountability. They used these values with their siblings. They used these values in school. I think that one of the reasons we are seeing problems in our schools right now is because kids didn't, or don't, have a mother at home to teach those values.
I am not saying that fathers are incapable of teaching children values. I am saying that mothers have an innate ability to nurture children that we fathers don't have. Can we, as fathers, learn to teach our children values? You bet we can! Just because we weren't born with that nurturing instinct, doesn't mean that we can't teach values to our children. We, as fathers, have a tendency to teach our children values by our EXAMPLES. Our kids watch and listen to us, even when we don't think they are watching or listening. We do our children a GREAT DISSERVICE by not setting a good example for them.
Do I disagree with Ms. Rosen? You bet I do!
One thing that caught my attention was the comment by Hillary Rosen directed at Ann Romney made during an interview on CNN.com. She made the statement that "Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life". I take issue with that statement because being a full-time mom is what I would classify as "real work."
Taking care of kids is a lot of work! Quite a few years ago, my wife and I both worked. We had one 2 year old at the time and a new born daughter. We found we were spending all of one our salaries, or the majority of it, on daycare for both kids. After looking at our finances, my wife decided to quit her job and stay home with the kids. It was NOT and easy decision for either of us, as she was the major breadwinner of our family at the time. I took the opportunity to stay home with them for a couple weeks while my wife was finishing up her 2 weeks notice at her job. I have never worked so hard in my life!
My wife came home each day of those 2 weeks to a house that looked like it had been hit by a hurricane. I was constantly cleaning, feeding, changing diapers, etc. all day every day for those 2 weeks. My sweetheart would come in the house and say, "What happened here?!?" I would give her a blow by blow description of what had happened and we would move on from there.
A few years later, my wife went to a Women's Conference for a week and I stayed home with the kids. We were up to 3 kids by then. You can imagine what the house looked like. It looked like it was "lived in", is the best way I can describe it. When my wife got back from the conference, I told her that I didn't know how she got everything done during the day, that needed to be done. I asked her how she did it and she just laughed. I am a firm believer that ALL DADS should send their wife out of town for a week and stay home with the kids, if for no other reason, than to gain a better appreciation for everything their wife does.
I have the utmost respect for women who CHOOSE to stay at home. I realize that it does put a financial strain on the family when the family has to adjust their lifestyle to only having one income provider. It may mean selling their nice house and buying something within their budget. It may mean that the existing cars may have to be sold and used cars bought in their place. It is a sacrifice, however, it is a sacrifice well worth making for the sake of our children.
Our children were taught, by their mother, important values that they still use today. Those values include, but are not limited to, Love, Humility, Respect, Responsibility, Kindness, Generosity, Trust, Integrity, Accountability. They used these values with their siblings. They used these values in school. I think that one of the reasons we are seeing problems in our schools right now is because kids didn't, or don't, have a mother at home to teach those values.
I am not saying that fathers are incapable of teaching children values. I am saying that mothers have an innate ability to nurture children that we fathers don't have. Can we, as fathers, learn to teach our children values? You bet we can! Just because we weren't born with that nurturing instinct, doesn't mean that we can't teach values to our children. We, as fathers, have a tendency to teach our children values by our EXAMPLES. Our kids watch and listen to us, even when we don't think they are watching or listening. We do our children a GREAT DISSERVICE by not setting a good example for them.
Do I disagree with Ms. Rosen? You bet I do!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
My recipe for Smoked BBQ Brisket
I made a smoked brisket for a church gathering recently and it went over so well, I thought I would post it here to my blog. I like to start this in the evening after work to be used the next day.
Ingredients:
1 - Brisket (untrimmed)
BBQ Beef Seasoning
1 - Large bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce
Your favorite wood for smoking; I like Mesquite but feel free to use whatever suits your taste.
Directions: (Read ALL the directions before doing anything)
Ingredients:
1 - Brisket (untrimmed)
BBQ Beef Seasoning
1 - Large bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce
Your favorite wood for smoking; I like Mesquite but feel free to use whatever suits your taste.
Directions: (Read ALL the directions before doing anything)
- Light a fire in your smoker using whatever wood you prefer; something like mesquite or hickory will add a very nice flavor to the meat. If the wood is green it will produce a large amount of smoke, which is good in this case.
- Rinse the brisket and season it liberally with the BBQ Beef Seasoning. Make sure you've got a good coating on both sides.
- Put the brisket on the smoking rack and close the smoker, keeping the temperature at about 220 degrees. Smoke the brisket for 1-2 hours. You're NOT trying to cook the brisket at this stage. All you want to do is give it a good smokey flavor and 1-2 hours max over a wood fire will do just that.
- Take the brisket out of the smoker and put it into a roasting pan. Make sure to seal the roasting pan with aluminum foil to seal in all the juices. Sealing the pan is key.
- Put it in your oven at 220 degrees and leave it there overnight. I have cooked them at 190 degrees before as well. I like to start this in the evening after work to be used the next day.
- Take the brisket out of the oven when you get up in the morning. The whole house will smell heavenly as it will be filled with the smell of smoked brisket. The brisket will be tender enough that when you start to shred the meat, pressing down on it with a fork will cause it to fall apart.
- You will want to let the brisket "rest" after taking it out of the oven. Leave the foil and lid on the roasting pan during the resting period. 30 minutes to an hour is plenty of time.
- I like to remove as much of the fat as possible, so I will trim off all the fat and throw it away. The juices can be used for a fantastic soup stock, but I don't use this either.
- Shred the brisket and put the shredded meat in a crock pot. The bigger the brisket is, the bigger the crock pot will have to be. A 14lb. brisket will completely fill a 5 Qt. crock pot.
- Mix in the bottle of BBQ sauce with the meat in the crock pot. Make sure you get it mixed into all of the meat. I have found that if you put a little bit of shredded brisket in the crock pot and mix BBQ sauce in, in small amounts, that you get a good even coating of BBQ sauce through all the meat.
- Set the temperature to low and leave it for 3-4 hours. If you need it right away, set the temperature to high for 1-2 hours.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Parenting tip #3
I have learned from experience, that kids need/want boundaries. Why do I say that? Because I have observed numerous small children with their parents out in public. I have noticed kids that understood that there were boundaries/rules of conduct when out in public and I have noticed kids that didn't understand, or maybe had not been taught when little, that there are rules of conduct based on the current circumstances.
Those children that had been taught, from a very young age, about boundaries were always well behaved out in public. They knew that if they "acted up" in public, they were going to answer to Mom or Dad and the outcome was NOT going to be one that they would be happy with. These children had been taught, when little, that some things/actions were pleasing to their parents and which things/actions resulted in some form of punishment.
How do you teach kids at home about boundaries? Start with very small, from your perspective, rules. For example, you might have a rule about snacking before meals. The negative consequence of eating within an hour of when dinner, or whatever meal we are talking about, will be served is that the children won't eat dinner. You or your wife probably just spent at least an hour fixing something that would be good to eat and bring the family together. If the child has broken the rule, they must face the consequences. In the example above, if my kids snacked before dinner, they knew that they would still be expected to eat dinner. If they didn't, they sat at the table until they did. Or, Dad would feed them. After they got to be about 9-10, they really didn't like having Dad feed them dinner. Because Dad would make it seem like they were still 1-2 years old when he fed them.
Some examples of rules to teach kids include: bedtime, meals, TV watching, reading, playing, computer, etc. The key to getting the rule to be obeyed is the "consequence fits the crime". Keep in mind, there are good consequences and bad consequences. Reward good behavior with something the child likes doing. When the behavior is bad, there needs to be some form of punishment. If you were to ask my kids what form of punishment was administered by Dad, they would tell you that he was a firm believer in "corporal punishment". Keep in mind, the punishment would be administered as soon as the offense was commited. The kids need to understand what they are being punished about and if the punishment can be administered as close as possible to the time the offense was commited, they will remember in vivid detail why they are in trouble.
A few years ago, my son was caught red-handed teasing his younger sister. He was about 10 and she was about 8. I was walking down the hall of our house, from our bedroom, and saw my daughter come out of the TV room. My son was right behind her and didn't see me coming down the hall. I observed him kick his younger sister. I was on him in about 3 steps. I picked him up and he started screaming bloody murder, thinking that Mom would rescue him. My wife was in the kitchen and came around the corner and saw me holding my son in the air. Keep in mind, I was not mad when I picked him up. My wife did not see what had happened and was not in a position to levy a punishment. I did see what happened and was able to administer a suitable punishment. I took him back into the TV room and got down on his level. I asked him why he had kicked his sister. I got the typical "I don't know" answer. I told him that if I ever caught him disrespecting any of his sisters again, he would not be able to sit down for at least 3 days. I did not spank him or hit him or anything else. He knew that I meant it and I never had any of those types of problems again. The "disrespecting his sisters" rule was cemented in his mind from that point on.
When he respected his sisters, he got rewarded with something that he liked to do. He was a very fast learner and found that he liked the rewards much better than the punishments. Especially when he got into high school. We never gave the kids a curfew. They would come home somewhere around 11-12 at night, because their friends had curfews and had to be home by a certain time.
The key to rules/boundaries is that the parents need to be the parents. They are NOT their kid's friend. They are the parent and sometimes they are going to be the bad guy when it comes to their kids. It's OKAY to be the bad guy Mom or Dad. If the punishment/consequence is administered with LOVE, the kids will eventually understand that you do love them. If the punishment/consequence is administered in anger, the kids will grow to hate, or dislike, their parents.
I also feel very strongly that when kids know they have rules/boundaries, they are happier and more well behaved. Start when they are babies. Yes, you heard that right, start when they are babies. The sooner you start being the "Parent", the sooner you will find out that you have become your kid's hero.
Those children that had been taught, from a very young age, about boundaries were always well behaved out in public. They knew that if they "acted up" in public, they were going to answer to Mom or Dad and the outcome was NOT going to be one that they would be happy with. These children had been taught, when little, that some things/actions were pleasing to their parents and which things/actions resulted in some form of punishment.
How do you teach kids at home about boundaries? Start with very small, from your perspective, rules. For example, you might have a rule about snacking before meals. The negative consequence of eating within an hour of when dinner, or whatever meal we are talking about, will be served is that the children won't eat dinner. You or your wife probably just spent at least an hour fixing something that would be good to eat and bring the family together. If the child has broken the rule, they must face the consequences. In the example above, if my kids snacked before dinner, they knew that they would still be expected to eat dinner. If they didn't, they sat at the table until they did. Or, Dad would feed them. After they got to be about 9-10, they really didn't like having Dad feed them dinner. Because Dad would make it seem like they were still 1-2 years old when he fed them.
Some examples of rules to teach kids include: bedtime, meals, TV watching, reading, playing, computer, etc. The key to getting the rule to be obeyed is the "consequence fits the crime". Keep in mind, there are good consequences and bad consequences. Reward good behavior with something the child likes doing. When the behavior is bad, there needs to be some form of punishment. If you were to ask my kids what form of punishment was administered by Dad, they would tell you that he was a firm believer in "corporal punishment". Keep in mind, the punishment would be administered as soon as the offense was commited. The kids need to understand what they are being punished about and if the punishment can be administered as close as possible to the time the offense was commited, they will remember in vivid detail why they are in trouble.
A few years ago, my son was caught red-handed teasing his younger sister. He was about 10 and she was about 8. I was walking down the hall of our house, from our bedroom, and saw my daughter come out of the TV room. My son was right behind her and didn't see me coming down the hall. I observed him kick his younger sister. I was on him in about 3 steps. I picked him up and he started screaming bloody murder, thinking that Mom would rescue him. My wife was in the kitchen and came around the corner and saw me holding my son in the air. Keep in mind, I was not mad when I picked him up. My wife did not see what had happened and was not in a position to levy a punishment. I did see what happened and was able to administer a suitable punishment. I took him back into the TV room and got down on his level. I asked him why he had kicked his sister. I got the typical "I don't know" answer. I told him that if I ever caught him disrespecting any of his sisters again, he would not be able to sit down for at least 3 days. I did not spank him or hit him or anything else. He knew that I meant it and I never had any of those types of problems again. The "disrespecting his sisters" rule was cemented in his mind from that point on.
When he respected his sisters, he got rewarded with something that he liked to do. He was a very fast learner and found that he liked the rewards much better than the punishments. Especially when he got into high school. We never gave the kids a curfew. They would come home somewhere around 11-12 at night, because their friends had curfews and had to be home by a certain time.
The key to rules/boundaries is that the parents need to be the parents. They are NOT their kid's friend. They are the parent and sometimes they are going to be the bad guy when it comes to their kids. It's OKAY to be the bad guy Mom or Dad. If the punishment/consequence is administered with LOVE, the kids will eventually understand that you do love them. If the punishment/consequence is administered in anger, the kids will grow to hate, or dislike, their parents.
I also feel very strongly that when kids know they have rules/boundaries, they are happier and more well behaved. Start when they are babies. Yes, you heard that right, start when they are babies. The sooner you start being the "Parent", the sooner you will find out that you have become your kid's hero.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Remembering 9/11/01
I remember exactly where I was on 9/11/01. I was asleep. I was living in Oregon at the time and when my alarm went off in the morning, I thought it was weird that the radio was playing the news. That’s not what I usually use to wake me up in the morning.
As I listened to the news, I started hearing them talk about something that had happened in New York City. When I realized what they were talking about I turned on the TV and got on a news channel. It was then that I realized the magnitude of what had happened.
My wife woke up when she heard the TV on and asked me what I was doing. I told her that someone had flown a plane into one of the Twin Towers in NYC. She came right awake. We both watched in awe as the TV showed a 2nd plane crashing into the 2nd tower. We continued to watch as the towers started to collapse and wondered how many people must have been in both of those towers and died that day.
I went outside and said a silent prayer that the families of those who had died when the towers collapsed would be comforted and watched over. I also gave thanks for the chance that I had to be AT HOME with my family when this tragedy occurred.
I then went back inside the house and talked to my wife about friends that we knew. A good friend of ours had gone out of town with some friends and had gotten stranded because all air traffic had been grounded. She and her friends were able to rent a car and drive home, but they had all called their families to let them know that they were all right.
As I listened to the news, I started hearing them talk about something that had happened in New York City. When I realized what they were talking about I turned on the TV and got on a news channel. It was then that I realized the magnitude of what had happened.
My wife woke up when she heard the TV on and asked me what I was doing. I told her that someone had flown a plane into one of the Twin Towers in NYC. She came right awake. We both watched in awe as the TV showed a 2nd plane crashing into the 2nd tower. We continued to watch as the towers started to collapse and wondered how many people must have been in both of those towers and died that day.
I went outside and said a silent prayer that the families of those who had died when the towers collapsed would be comforted and watched over. I also gave thanks for the chance that I had to be AT HOME with my family when this tragedy occurred.
I then went back inside the house and talked to my wife about friends that we knew. A good friend of ours had gone out of town with some friends and had gotten stranded because all air traffic had been grounded. She and her friends were able to rent a car and drive home, but they had all called their families to let them know that they were all right.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Scouts: A Learning Experience
As a Scoutmaster, I was responsible for making sure that my scouts went on campouts once a month. For months, I had done my best to make sure the boys planned for everything when it came to the campouts. It was like pulling teeth to get them to sit down and plan out where they would camp, what they would eat, what groceries needed to be purchased to fill out the meal plan, etc. There was one campout, where I am absolutely sure the boys learned the value of planning ahead.
One campout, the boys had planned out their menu and where they would go etc. The mom of 2 of the boys took her 2 boys and one other scout to buy the groceries for the troop. Bless her heart, she let them fail! Why do I say that? When they got to the grocery store, mom stayed up front while the scouts went shopping. She shadowed them the whole time to make sure they didn't destroy the store from the front of the store.
Well, the boys got everything on their list and came back up front. Mom, bless her heart, looked down in the basket and asked, "How many boys will you be feeding?" The boys told her how many would be eating. She looked down in the basket again and asked, "Are you sure you have enough food?" That should have been a tipoff to these boys that they didn't have enough food. They, however, answered by saying, "Yeah, yeah, we have enough food." Mom, being persistent, asked again, "Are you sure you won't run out of food? You are feeding x number of boys." They responded with, "We have enough. Let's go!" So, they left the store after buying the food in their basket. At this point, you can see what's coming, I hope.
I had to work late the day of the campout and a couple of the dads got all the boys transported out to the campsite. When I arrived, it was about dinner time. I unpacked my food and went to get utensils out of the trailer. I found what I was looking for, but it wasn't washed from the previous campout and needed to be washed. I asked, "Did anyone bring any water?" The scouts responded with, "I didn't think we would need to bring water with us." I asked them, "Do you see any water spigots out here?" It was a primitive area without posted campsites, if you couldn't tell. One of the dads spoke up and said, "I'll take a couple of the water containers and go back to town and fill them up." I said, "Great. Go for it." This dad took off with the water containers to get them filled up.
Meanwhile, it's starting to get dark and the boys are starting to get hungry. I, and the other dads, had planned our own menu and had purchased our own food. So, we set up the stoves and got our food cooking. We were cooking steaks with veggies and a dutch oven cobbler. When we broke out our food they all started complaining that we were eating better than they were. I told them, "Of course we are eating better than you, we brought our own food from our houses for this campout.
Anyway, they started cooking their hot dogs. That was what they had planned for their dinner. The hot dogs started getting done and someone asked, "Where are the hot dog buns?" The scout who had gone to the store and bought the supplies spoke up, "They are in the trunk of the dad's car that went to get water." Scouts are resourceful, I'll give them that. All the other scouts, except for the one who had spoken up and the dad's son who had gone for water, started eating the hot dogs without buns. We had some boys there that could have eaten a whole pack of hot dogs by themselves. The 2 boys who were waiting for the hot dog buns to return sat in a tent talking and amusing themselves until dad got back. By the time dad got back the hot dogs were history. These two boys ended up eating hot dog buns for dinner and whatever they could beg from the adults. I thought to myself, "This is working out quite well. The boys, hopefully, are learning that they have to THINK when they are planning an outing like a campout. They may go to bed hungry, but they certainly won't starve to death before they get home." As you can probably tell, there were some boys that went to bed quite hungry that night.
The next morning, I got up early to get the adult's breakfast started. I had planned a One Oven Breakfast in a dutch oven and needed to get charcoal heated up and everything mixed up and cooking, because it took an hour to cook this meal. The dad that had gone to town got up and helped me start mixing ingredients together for this meal. The recipe I was using called for 1 and 1/2 dozen eggs. We got all the eggs broken up and mixed in our other ingredients and got it all going in the dutch oven.
Meanwhile, the boys got up while we were mixing up our ingredients and started breaking out their food. They had purchased 2 16 oz. cartons of the pre-broken eggs. I could just see their little minds working in the store thinking, "I hate getting egg white on my hands when I break eggs. Hey! Here's some eggs that are already broken. And look, it says on the carton that there are the equivalent of 8 eggs per carton. We only need to feed 8 boys, 2 cartons should be enough." Well, they got both cartons poured out onto the grill and started cooking them. Those cartons of eggs really don't produce a lot when it comes to scrambled eggs. The scout doing the cooking turned to me with the pan in his hand and asked, "Do you think we'll have enough eggs?" Knowing that the answer was no. He then asked if I had some extra eggs that they could have. I told him that I had just dumped a dozen and a half eggs into the dutch oven and it wouldn't be done for another hour. He was dissappointed and the boys had about 1 bite each of eggs and they were gone. They had also bought some hash browns, a 5 lb. bag, for breakfast but nobody could find it.
Meanwhile, the adult's breakfast is finishing up cooking and I've made enough for at least 8 people. I was only feeding 5. Of course I had leftovers, but I told the boys, "You have to wait until we have finished eating before you can have any." I have never seen so many boys drooling like puppies before. We finished eating and I turned what was leftover to the boys. They finished off everything in the dutch oven including the crust on the bottom in less than 3 minutes.
What I was attempting to teach them was that, 1) You have to plan for success or else you will fail, and 2) When estimating how much food you will need for a meal, estimate on the high side.
When it came time to take the boys home, I took the 2 boys home that had done the shopping for the meals. When we got to their house, they started taking their gear out of the car and found out that the 5 lb. bag of hash browns was in the car the whole time. One of these boys had been told to bring those out of the car and put them in the cooler, but he felt like playing more than working, so he blew it off and didn't bring them in. He also forgot what he had done with them. Oops!
When I dropped them off, I took the mom and dad aside and thanked them profusely for letting the boys fail. The mom told me about their excursion to the grocery store and how everything went. She even gave me the commentary that I mentioned above. Mom took it as a compliment, but I could tell dad was a little ticked at me because I let his boys go hungry. I don't know if these boys will remember this campout, but I can tell you this, I will never forget it. Thank you Scouts for teaching me.
One campout, the boys had planned out their menu and where they would go etc. The mom of 2 of the boys took her 2 boys and one other scout to buy the groceries for the troop. Bless her heart, she let them fail! Why do I say that? When they got to the grocery store, mom stayed up front while the scouts went shopping. She shadowed them the whole time to make sure they didn't destroy the store from the front of the store.
Well, the boys got everything on their list and came back up front. Mom, bless her heart, looked down in the basket and asked, "How many boys will you be feeding?" The boys told her how many would be eating. She looked down in the basket again and asked, "Are you sure you have enough food?" That should have been a tipoff to these boys that they didn't have enough food. They, however, answered by saying, "Yeah, yeah, we have enough food." Mom, being persistent, asked again, "Are you sure you won't run out of food? You are feeding x number of boys." They responded with, "We have enough. Let's go!" So, they left the store after buying the food in their basket. At this point, you can see what's coming, I hope.
I had to work late the day of the campout and a couple of the dads got all the boys transported out to the campsite. When I arrived, it was about dinner time. I unpacked my food and went to get utensils out of the trailer. I found what I was looking for, but it wasn't washed from the previous campout and needed to be washed. I asked, "Did anyone bring any water?" The scouts responded with, "I didn't think we would need to bring water with us." I asked them, "Do you see any water spigots out here?" It was a primitive area without posted campsites, if you couldn't tell. One of the dads spoke up and said, "I'll take a couple of the water containers and go back to town and fill them up." I said, "Great. Go for it." This dad took off with the water containers to get them filled up.
Meanwhile, it's starting to get dark and the boys are starting to get hungry. I, and the other dads, had planned our own menu and had purchased our own food. So, we set up the stoves and got our food cooking. We were cooking steaks with veggies and a dutch oven cobbler. When we broke out our food they all started complaining that we were eating better than they were. I told them, "Of course we are eating better than you, we brought our own food from our houses for this campout.
Anyway, they started cooking their hot dogs. That was what they had planned for their dinner. The hot dogs started getting done and someone asked, "Where are the hot dog buns?" The scout who had gone to the store and bought the supplies spoke up, "They are in the trunk of the dad's car that went to get water." Scouts are resourceful, I'll give them that. All the other scouts, except for the one who had spoken up and the dad's son who had gone for water, started eating the hot dogs without buns. We had some boys there that could have eaten a whole pack of hot dogs by themselves. The 2 boys who were waiting for the hot dog buns to return sat in a tent talking and amusing themselves until dad got back. By the time dad got back the hot dogs were history. These two boys ended up eating hot dog buns for dinner and whatever they could beg from the adults. I thought to myself, "This is working out quite well. The boys, hopefully, are learning that they have to THINK when they are planning an outing like a campout. They may go to bed hungry, but they certainly won't starve to death before they get home." As you can probably tell, there were some boys that went to bed quite hungry that night.
The next morning, I got up early to get the adult's breakfast started. I had planned a One Oven Breakfast in a dutch oven and needed to get charcoal heated up and everything mixed up and cooking, because it took an hour to cook this meal. The dad that had gone to town got up and helped me start mixing ingredients together for this meal. The recipe I was using called for 1 and 1/2 dozen eggs. We got all the eggs broken up and mixed in our other ingredients and got it all going in the dutch oven.
Meanwhile, the boys got up while we were mixing up our ingredients and started breaking out their food. They had purchased 2 16 oz. cartons of the pre-broken eggs. I could just see their little minds working in the store thinking, "I hate getting egg white on my hands when I break eggs. Hey! Here's some eggs that are already broken. And look, it says on the carton that there are the equivalent of 8 eggs per carton. We only need to feed 8 boys, 2 cartons should be enough." Well, they got both cartons poured out onto the grill and started cooking them. Those cartons of eggs really don't produce a lot when it comes to scrambled eggs. The scout doing the cooking turned to me with the pan in his hand and asked, "Do you think we'll have enough eggs?" Knowing that the answer was no. He then asked if I had some extra eggs that they could have. I told him that I had just dumped a dozen and a half eggs into the dutch oven and it wouldn't be done for another hour. He was dissappointed and the boys had about 1 bite each of eggs and they were gone. They had also bought some hash browns, a 5 lb. bag, for breakfast but nobody could find it.
Meanwhile, the adult's breakfast is finishing up cooking and I've made enough for at least 8 people. I was only feeding 5. Of course I had leftovers, but I told the boys, "You have to wait until we have finished eating before you can have any." I have never seen so many boys drooling like puppies before. We finished eating and I turned what was leftover to the boys. They finished off everything in the dutch oven including the crust on the bottom in less than 3 minutes.
What I was attempting to teach them was that, 1) You have to plan for success or else you will fail, and 2) When estimating how much food you will need for a meal, estimate on the high side.
When it came time to take the boys home, I took the 2 boys home that had done the shopping for the meals. When we got to their house, they started taking their gear out of the car and found out that the 5 lb. bag of hash browns was in the car the whole time. One of these boys had been told to bring those out of the car and put them in the cooler, but he felt like playing more than working, so he blew it off and didn't bring them in. He also forgot what he had done with them. Oops!
When I dropped them off, I took the mom and dad aside and thanked them profusely for letting the boys fail. The mom told me about their excursion to the grocery store and how everything went. She even gave me the commentary that I mentioned above. Mom took it as a compliment, but I could tell dad was a little ticked at me because I let his boys go hungry. I don't know if these boys will remember this campout, but I can tell you this, I will never forget it. Thank you Scouts for teaching me.
A Parent's Life Part 2
Getting kids to sleep on their own is one of the ways we learn patience. :-) When our children are babies, they require almost constant attention. They need us to feed them, change their diapers, dress them and, in some cases, sleep with them. Being a dad, I loved to hold my kids when they were babies and let them fall asleep on my chest on the couch. I got a nap and my wife got a break from the baby. But when it came time for bedtime at night, our kids were probably just like yours, in that they wanted a drink of water or they "forgot" to brush their teeth. You and I both know that all these tactics are stalling tactics for them wanting to stay up, when we know they need the sleep as much or more than we do.
When our kids were small they would scream bloody murder when we put them to bed. On our first child, we would get up in the nighttime and comfort/feed him until he fell asleep and then put him back in his bed. After a number of very long nights, my wife and I decided that it was time the baby learned to sleep on his own. This was where we learned to have patience. :-) We would take care of all the baby's needs and put them to bed. When he screamed/cryed we would open his door and let him know that we were still there, but we didn't pick him up. We would then close the door and go lay down. Inevitably, he would start crying before we got back to bed. We would wait 5 long minutes, then go to his door and reassure him that we were still there and then close the door. When he started crying again, we would wait 10 very long minutes before checking on him. Eventually, he knew that when it was time for bed, he had to find some way to comfort himself and go to sleep.
With the rest of our kids, we started the routine within one or two weeks after we brought them home from the hospital. I can honestly say that teaching them to go to sleep on their own was one of the hardest things I have had to do. Nothing pulls at a parent's heartstrings more than hearing their child cry. I've done it with 5 kids and it was just as hard with the last as it was with the first. It was also one of the best things I could have done for my kids. They learned that they could sleep on their own.
My youngest is now 12 and my older kids are in high school and college. I'll talk about the teen years in my next post...
When our kids were small they would scream bloody murder when we put them to bed. On our first child, we would get up in the nighttime and comfort/feed him until he fell asleep and then put him back in his bed. After a number of very long nights, my wife and I decided that it was time the baby learned to sleep on his own. This was where we learned to have patience. :-) We would take care of all the baby's needs and put them to bed. When he screamed/cryed we would open his door and let him know that we were still there, but we didn't pick him up. We would then close the door and go lay down. Inevitably, he would start crying before we got back to bed. We would wait 5 long minutes, then go to his door and reassure him that we were still there and then close the door. When he started crying again, we would wait 10 very long minutes before checking on him. Eventually, he knew that when it was time for bed, he had to find some way to comfort himself and go to sleep.
With the rest of our kids, we started the routine within one or two weeks after we brought them home from the hospital. I can honestly say that teaching them to go to sleep on their own was one of the hardest things I have had to do. Nothing pulls at a parent's heartstrings more than hearing their child cry. I've done it with 5 kids and it was just as hard with the last as it was with the first. It was also one of the best things I could have done for my kids. They learned that they could sleep on their own.
My youngest is now 12 and my older kids are in high school and college. I'll talk about the teen years in my next post...
Monday, August 3, 2009
A Parent's Life Part 1
As parents, we have a responsibility to our kids to set boundaries and rules for them. As we all know, kids will, when they know they have boundaries or rules with mom and dad, test those boundaries. It is our job to make sure those boundaries/rules are enforced. This is the tough part about being a parent. We don't always want to enforce the boundaries/rules because we don't want our kids to be mad at us. Personally, I feel that kids need to know that we will enforce those boundaries/rules even if they do get mad at us at the time. We are NOT their friends, although we like to be, we ARE their PARENTS.
The time to set boundaries/rules with kids is when they are young. How young? Personally, I feel that kids need to learn there are boundaries from the time they are still in diapers and feeding from a bottle. Why do I say this? From the time that kids are babies, they learn from us what they can and can't do. If we let them sleep in bed with us, they feel like they can sleep in our bed with us all the time. If we let them eat whatever they want, they know that they can throw a tantrum and get whatever they want to eat. Parents need to let kids know that there are some things that are negotiable and some things that are not.
Learning how to sleep in their own bed is a biggie. I'll talk about this more next time...
The time to set boundaries/rules with kids is when they are young. How young? Personally, I feel that kids need to learn there are boundaries from the time they are still in diapers and feeding from a bottle. Why do I say this? From the time that kids are babies, they learn from us what they can and can't do. If we let them sleep in bed with us, they feel like they can sleep in our bed with us all the time. If we let them eat whatever they want, they know that they can throw a tantrum and get whatever they want to eat. Parents need to let kids know that there are some things that are negotiable and some things that are not.
Learning how to sleep in their own bed is a biggie. I'll talk about this more next time...
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